I don't think he had a car being worked on.

So I woke up this morning with determination to get some errands done, get a hair cut, the oil changed in the truck and then get spruced up for one of my long time family friends wedding.

I went to Fantastic Sam's, classy for sure, and the lady that cut my hair was a Latina, maybe late 40's. She was wearing this light perfume, but was distinct enough to differ from the scent of hair product that lingered in the air. I was the first customer of the day and I guess it was a good thing because she was super bubbly and really seemed like she loved what she does, would it have been different if she had been there all day already and I was the last customer?

While she was giving me the chop, I asked if she had been doing hair for a while and she went into her entire background of cutting hair. She told me about how she use to cut Oscar De La Hoya's hair in some LA shop, he use to drive a Camaro and I guess Oscar use to do quite a bit of TV appearances. We then went into a story about her chiuaua and how her husband is still working on the potty training and that the dog is very dependant. She kept showing me on my shoulder how the dog uses his paws to let her know he needs something. Quite the haircut.

After the haircut I went to the Penzoil shop on the corner of Hewes and Chapman. I needed to get it in for an oil change because I think I was 1,000 miles over due. The guys in the shop looked like they were still hung over from new years and didn't look too thrilled to be at work.

I filled out the paper work inside and there was this older man sitting in the lobby watching some infomercial about how to get rich off of this stock trader tip system, I didn't pay attention too long. I then went over to the 7-11 to get my daily fix on sugar free red bull, because right now they have a 2 for $3.33 on 8 oz cans. While I was being rung up for my long time caffeine addiction, two Mexican day workers started throwing blows with each other in the parking lot. The cashier kept going about business asking me how I have been because back in the day when I worked the late shift at Costco, I would stop in and get a cheeseburger taquito and a NOS energy drink and he would usually be the one manning the store.

While avoiding the brawl outside, I headed back over to Penzoil to pick up the truck, almost getting hit in the intersection. When I returned to the lobby the old man was still sitting there watching TV, talking to himself about how genius the product is and asking no body why hadn't anyone thought of this before. I don't think he had a car being worked on.

End of the Year

I went through about 10 titles for this before I settled on "End of the Year".

I guess this will be the typical summary of the year 2009, the ups and the downs, the rights and the wrongs.

This year started out pretty damn rough, financially and emotionally. The struggle/ stubbornness to grasp onto any assistance offered by family and friends. The outright disregard for others feelings, which is not typical of me at all or so I thought. It seems that every year before this I was alone and was fine with being alone, but it was the way I went about it. Some people would say that I am just like every other guy out there, trying to run through women like its a 10k race. Others who really know me for me would understand my struggle to manage life in general, "life is tough" - a weak platitude.

My first blog ever was back in August about a belligerent night with some friends and realizing in the midst of the everything that no one will ever be truly happy, everyone just settles for what they have in front of them at that very moment because they are afraid of being alone ...

I am ending this year differently than the past. I am in a wonderful relationship, I have a grasp now and see an end to my financial struggles. At the end of 2009 I can say that I am happy with a huge dorky smile.

A new outlook on things

August 15, 2009

After a relentless week of work and finals, I was determined to let loose on Friday night. I made my plans to get together with some long time friends and just catch up, drink and laugh like old times.

In the midst of the get together, neighbors were invited over. For the few times I have met them and what I have gathered about them, they are a fairly odd couple, super nice people, but they are definitely meant for each other.

As the night continued and the more inebriated I became, I became more observant. I watched how the group of people worked together, communicating both verbal and non.

I thought about how the neighbors, a married couple; found each other, decided that they wanted to be with each other for the rest of their lives and how there is no one else in the world meant for either of them.

While I was contemplating the neighbors, I was thinking about how society is still so "animal" and by "animal" I mean that life is nothing short of a test of survival. We all act in the same sense of hunting and gathering and when it comes to finding the right mate; we analyze, poke and praud to find any defects in the other person so our offspring aren't all screwed up.

For some reason it has become human nature to settle for what is in front of us, so we don't have that deep feeling of loneliness.

In essence, settling for what is in front of you, telling yourself that you should be happy with what you have because there isn't another fish in the sea. sets you up for failure and heart break and you are back to being lonely.

So back to the neighbors, I watched them and took in their conversation and how they related to each other and how they communicated back and forth. The two of them together hit my previous thoughts right on the dot. They are both very intelligent, ambitious, goal oriented people, but I could read both of them like a book when they spoke to each other that had a feeling of regret in their eyes. They both had helplessness plastered across their faces. They looked like they were together because they felt like they had no other options.